Random Reminiscing: Looking Back at my Many Random Roles Interviews (Part 2 of Quite a Few)
With the 10th anniversary of my career as a freelance pop culture journalist coming up on April 1st, I’m feeling a tad nostalgic, so I decided that I wanted to start looking back at the portion of my freelance career of which I’m most proud: my Random Roles interviews for the A.V. Club.
If you accidentally missed the first part of this reminiscing, you can check it out by clicking right here.
If you didn’t miss it, though, then for heaven’s sake, why are you wasting time with this intro? Just dive right in!
Laura Dern:
Ladies And Gentlemen, The Fabulous Stains (1982)—“Jessica McNeil”
Laura Dern: I’m now in a fantastic mood because of the interview, so I’m going to give you word association. Ready? Had my 13th birthday on it. Diane Lane, still one of my best friends. At 12, turned 13, made a movie with Sex Pistols and The Clash. Learned about a lot of things I never knew and hope will never know again. Don’t know how my parents let me do that. Who knew that if you want your child to never use drugs, you should send them for five months on a movie with The Sex Pistols? Because they’ll never do drugs. Most fun ever. I got to be in a rock band, and we sucked, and we were still famous. It was like the precursor to everything that was about to happen in the music business. It’s kind of its own masterpiece. And having spent the last 11 years of my life with a touring musician [Ben Harper], it’s the most talked-about movie by touring bands. They all have it on their bus. It’s so fun.
Have you revisited it since then?
Diane and I did the commentary for the DVD, so that was my revisiting, which was hysterical. And because it was reissued, Ben, my husband, toured with Pearl Jam, and all those guys are like, “Oh my God! You’re in Fabulous Stains!” Courtney Love: “Oh! You’re in my favorite movie ever made. Ladies And Gentleman, The Fabulous Stains. Oh, my God!” It’s hysterical to me.
Robert Forster:
The Kinky Coaches And The Pom Pom Pussycats (1981), “Coach Alan Arnoldi”
Robert Forster: Oh, Jesus.
It was apparently also known as Heartbreak High
Whatever it was called, I know they renamed it The Pussycat Movie, or whatever it was you just said. That was a high-school football comedy, and I had a pretty small part in it, but it was up in Montreal, and it was summertime, so it was nice. I remember Montreal being a beautiful place with nice people. I enjoyed being there. I remember thinking, “Boy oh boy, a job like this doesn’t come along everyday.” And I remember I needed the money. Well, I always needed the money: I had four kids and two exes. [Laughs.] So I had to take jobs, so I took ’em.
That isn’t the worst title in my résumé. There are some other titles that appear in Spanish, and you wonder why? Because there was an actor in Spain, and when I started out, people told him that he looked like me, so he did a number of movies using the name “Robert Forster.” Which, you know, apparently you can do over there. Not here. The Screen Actors Guild won’t let you do that. But over there, they did it. They might’ve been cleaned out by now, but in some old movie databases, there are movies, the titles of which will curl your toes. [Laughs.] And I can’t remember what they are in Spanish, but in English, they’re something like The Hyperactive Nymphomaniacs From The Rio Grande or something like that. And I’m not kidding. If you ever find them, you’ll chuckle, because they’re even worse than I just described. And there are several of them. And I worked with this guy in a movie! And he came over to me and sheepishly told me the story that I just told you, that they told him that he looked like me, so he made some movies calling himself Robert Forster. Nice guy, though!
[The actor in question is Antonio Mayans, who worked with Forster on the 1989 film Esmeralda Bay. IMDB now lists Mayans’ credited pseudonym as “Robert Foster.” As for the titles of the films that had mistakenly ended up on Forster’s résumé, we’re guessing he’s referring to such classics as Aberraciones Sexuales De Una Mujer Casada, La Noche De Los Sexos Abiertos, and El Sexo Está Loco. And possibly Confesiones Íntimas De Una Exhibicionista, too.]
Rosanna Arquette:
Desperately Seeking Susan (1985)—“Roberta Glass / ‘Susan’”
Rosanna Arquette: Well, it was really one of the first films that was all female. The studio head was Barbara Boyle, it was female producers, female writers, a female director. It was one of the first out of the box like that. That didn’t really happen. A female-driven movie about females? It just didn’t happen like that. You didn’t see films with women running them in every way, shape, or form. I remember that one of the producers, Sarah Pillsbury, had just had a baby, and there was a discrepancy during filming about whether Roberta had amnesia at this point in the film or not. There was this back-and-forth bickering. Because it was shot out of sequence, and we’d be confused about whether she still had amnesia. So we were all in a little huddle, and… we were all weeping! [Laughs.] I’ll never forget that. It was, like, “There you go: This is why they don’t have movies done with all women.” That just cracked me up. It was only just that one moment, but we were all in such a hormonal state trying to work this thing out. And then we all laughed. It was, like, “Okay, this is silly, let’s get back to work.” So we figured it out, we went back to work, and it was all good.
How was it to work with Madonna? Was there a major learning curve for her, given that she hadn’t really done a film before?
Yeah, I mean, she wasn’t an actress. She had no acting experience. But she certainly had a presence. She was becoming the biggest thing in the world as we were doing the film. So she wasn’t that big, but she was this presence on MTV, so I kept seeing the “Lucky Star” video and just being obsessed with how gorgeous she was. She has that star quality. She really does. It’s like Angelina Jolie, where she walks in and you just go, “Wow…” She has it. And she always had that presence. I’m really looking forward to seeing her movie that she directed. I’ve heard it’s good, and I’m really excited for her. We got to know each other during that film, and for a while we were really close. I just found an album of Like A Virgin where she wrote, “Rosanna, I love you!” I thought, “I should really frame that.” [Laughs.] But we’ve lost touch over the years. I wish her well, though, and I’m happy for her that she’s doing so well. And that she has such beautiful children.
Mark Harmon:
Adam-12 (1975)—“Officer Gus Corbin”
Emergency! (1975)—“Officer Dave Gordon”
Sam (1978)—“Officer Mike Breen”
You mentioned that 240-Robert was the first real block of episodes that you ever did on a series. Does Sam not rate a mention?
Mark Harmon: [Laughs.] No, ’cause Sam never really got a chance to be a series. We actually did a couple of versions, as I recall, with different people. I was the same and the dog was the same. [Laughs.] But the people around us were different. That was a Mark VII production. That was Jack Webb, an idea he had based on an LAPD bomb dog unit. That’s where he got the idea for it. But I don’t know that he ever got it where he wanted it to really make it much of a series. Originally I think it was kind of spun off the Adam-12 format.
You also did episodes of Adam-12 and Emergency!, both of which Jack Webb produced.
Yeah, I worked with Jack really early on. I’d actually met him when I was at UCLA and I was speaking on the banquet circuit. After a number of years and two different jobs, I decided that I needed to either commit to acting or not. And I left the advertising stuff, and I didn’t leave with any great plan, other than that I needed to try to do this or not. Jack was the first person I called after that. Not only did I not have a plan, but I didn’t have an agent. But Jack was doing all these shows like Adam-12, a show called Sierra, and Emergency! By the way, at the end of the shows, this big sweaty hand would come out and—bang!—leave the stamp of the studio logo. That hand? Jack’s hand. [Laughs.] I thought that was great. That was literally his stamp on the show. But after that, a card came up for Universal Studios, so I just called up Universal Studios and asked for Jack Webb. And they put me through to Mark VII, the secretary answered, and I said, “Hi, this is Mark Harmon, I’m trying to talk to Jack Webb.” And he got on the phone.
That’s amazing.
It was. But I arranged to go in and talk to him, and I did, but I had longer hair and a mustache. And he kind of looked at me, and he said, “What do you want?” I said, “I want to talk to you about being…” [Lowers voice to an indecipherable volume.] “About being what?” [Whispers.] “An actor.” I couldn’t even say it! But he made me say it. And then he pulled some sides out of his desk and put him across the desk at me, and he said, “You come back here tomorrow afternoon looking like a cop, and we’ll talk about it.” And that’s all he said. And I didn’t really know what that meant, but I took the sides, and I interpreted “looking like a cop” as getting a haircut and shaving off my moustache, which is what I did. And I came back in the next day and read for him. I think more than anything he was surprised by the commitment. [Laughs.] But he took me down onto the set of Adam-12, and I did a small screen test with Kent McCord and Marty Milner, and I got a little part on Adam-12. I was a fan of Jack’s then, and I was a fan of Jack’s all during that time, up until now. And I’m always thankful for that. He didn’t really know me, and he didn’t have to give me a shot or a chance or anything else. I only say good things about him. I liked him.
Colm Meaney:
The Dead (1987)—“Mr. Bergin”
Colm Meaney: Oh my God. Well, what I remember most of that, of course, was working with John Huston. I mean, I was there a lot, I didn’t have a lot to do or say, but just to be there with him was… I mean, what a huge thrill for a young actor. You’re aware you’re becoming a part of cinema history by doing that.
It was decidedly late in his career. Did he still have all his wits about him as a director?
It wasn’t just late in his career. It was very, very late. [Laughs.] We had about a week of table readings before we started shooting, and John would come in, and he was actually on oxygen, and he would say [Adopts a weak, throaty voice], “Good morning, everybody. Shall we start? Let’s start.” Then in the middle, “Shall we take a little break? Let’s take a little break.” And at the end, “Well, thank you very much, everybody. That was wonderful.” And at the beginning of the week, everyone was kind of, “Is he okay? Is he going to be able to do this?” Well, the following Monday, the first scene, first shot, he calls “action,” and about 30 seconds into the tape, this bellowing voice explodes across the set: “No, no, no! That’s much too slow! Cut, cut, cut, cut, cut!” Wow. No problem there. He’s ready. [Laughs.] It was just extraordinary being around him.
I recently worked with Jack Huston, his grandson, who’s the son of Tony Huston, who wrote the screenplay for The Dead. I was having fun working with Jack, and I realized he was actually my fifth Huston to work with. So Jack was like, “Oh, so you already know how to handle a Huston, then.” [Laughs.] ’Cause I worked with Anjelica, Tony, and John on The Dead, then I worked with Danny—I didn’t work with Danny until The Conspirator—and then I worked with Jack in this film we did in Belgium last year [The Hot Potato]. So, yeah, five Hustons. Not bad. [Laughs.]
Christopher McDonald:
Breakin’ (1984)—“James”
Christopher McDonald: [Sighs, then laughs.] Yeah. Here’s a movie that I would’ve… you know, if somebody had said, “Can you ride a unicycle up a mountain?” I would’ve said, “You bet,” and I would’ve learned that weekend how to do it. I was doing commercials at that time, and I was really dying to get into movies—preferably something good, but… [Laughs.] It was a silly story, but a guy who was from Israel was directing who knew precisely nothing about break-dancing. They had a very egotistical guy who was actually a very good dancer that they fired because he wanted to take the whole movie over. We ended up with Shabba-Doo and Boogaloo Shrimp, who were actually very cool people, and it was really just a dance movie, with Cannon Films jumping onto the bandwagon and saying, “Hey, if we can get this made within a month and a half and then turn it around and get it out within eight weeks…” [Starts to laugh.] They were cutting it as they were shooting it just to get it out and make a quick dollar, because, you know, who knew how long break-dancing was going to be a hit?
And it’s still out there even now, of course, but this was right at the top of it. They made a lot of money, so they were very happy. Playing James, though, was, like [Scornfully.] “Breakdancing? Street dancing? You can’t be serious! You’re a girl heading to the theater!” That kind of guy, but I come around in the end. And there’s a scene where they’re dancing on the beach, and Jean-Claude Van Damme is in the background. As an extra. Swear to God. Somebody told me that, and I looked it up, and I was, like, “Oh my God, that is Jean-Claude Van Damme.” So, yeah, I shot a movie with Jean-Claude Van Damme. So I got that goin’ for me.
Of course, the most important question about this project is, why weren’t you in Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo?
Uh, yeah, I turned that down. [Laughs.] I was a little busy. Plus, I mean, once is enough, you know?
That’s going to be everyone’s big takeaway from this interview: “Chris McDonald: The Man Who Turned Down Breakin’ 2 Electric Boogaloo.”
Oh, well, that’s just insinuating that I’d take anything else, which is probably somewhat true. [Laughs.] No, I’m a bit discerning. I mean, I’ve turned a lot of stuff down. You’d be surprised. As much as I work, I do turn a lot of stuff down. And some of it I’ve really regretted. Like, I turned down The Hand That Rocks The Cradle—turned out to be nearly a $100 million film for Curtis Hanson. When I saw that, I said, “Holy shit!” But I said, “If you’d just change this one thing, I’d love to do this part.” I don’t know if you remember, but at the time, there was this commercial where the old woman said, “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!” And that was a line the guy had to say in the movie—Matt McCoy ended up playing the part—and when he said it, the audience laughed their asses off for two solid minutes. I was, like “Vindication!” [Laughs.] Of course, if you gave me that part now, I’d do it, because nobody really knows that reference except us older guys, but at the time, I was, like, “Could you just change that?” I would’ve changed it on the set, but you know, I was holding to my principles. That was dumb. [Laughs.]
Phil Morris:
The Young And The Restless (1984-1986)—“Tyrone Jackson”
Phil Morris: Woo-hoo! [Laughs.] You know, as you mention these characters, a lot comes to mind. I mean, each one of them has come from an iconic show, The Young And The Restless being one of the iconic daytime dramas of all time. Yeah, Tyrone Jackson. I first came on that show as the brother of a character who had been established. Jon St. Elwood, who was playing Jazz Jackson, who was basically a leg-breaker for the mob in the fictitious town of Genoa City, which is where Young And The Restless takes place. They gave him a brother he was putting through college, to give him kind of the hooker-with-the-heart-of-gold thing, you know what I mean? [Laughs.] So he didn’t look so reprehensible and was kind of like the big giant with the soft heart.
So he’s putting this young man through college. Unbeknownst to this young man—me!—he is this mob figure. I think he’s just a businessman who’s done well and has sent me this money, and I’m eternally beholden to him. I show up in Genoa City to surprise him, ’cause I’ve graduated with honors, and he does his best dancing to try and keep me from finding out his dark secret. So that played well for a while. I’m dating the police chief’s daughter, Amy, played by Stephanie Williams at the time on the show. Then I find out who he is, and we have this big blow-up. I had been undercover as a drug dealer to try and break up the mob, and he’s been sent to kill me. [Laughs.] It was awesome soap-opera stuff. And then they had this incredible, ingenious idea to send me under cover as a white person. A white guy.
Pretty crazy, and, you know, I thought for sure this would last a week, maybe. And in soap-opera time, that’s a lot, because that’s five shows. Six months I was up under that makeup, playing make-believe, actually marrying the mob boss’ daughter, and then on the wedding night, she finds out. I mean, it was just… the stakes couldn’t be higher. [Laughs.] Again, incredible experience. I started the show with maybe a three- or four-page scene in a phone booth, telling Paul Williams that I’m coming to Genoa City, and then I ended the show with 30 pages of dialogue a day and my own storyline. I had a three-year contract, and left after two years because… I was ready to leave. I was ready to do other things and move on. I haven’t been back since, other than to say “hello” and to see some friends. A lot of people become soap-hoppers. They jump from soap to another. I was determined for some reason not to do that, to go into prime time or to mix it up with comedy or something. As an actor, it was something I required. So a great experience and a great place to start, and to move on from. [Laughs.]
So how was it to live the life of a Caucasian for six months?
It was… you know, fairly do-able. [Laughs.] The makeup was tough, because I’d be the first one in makeup at 5:30 in the morning or whatever, and I’d have to stay in it all day. And at the time, that was when they first started tours over at CBS on Beverly Boulevard, so they’d have people coming in. I felt a bit like a monkey or some other zoo creature, because the tour guides would be [Whispering.], “And there’s our actor who’s playing a white guy, the unique and most mysterious Phil Morris.” [Laughs.] You know what I mean? “The elusive Phil Morris. Don’t look him in the eye!” I started to feel a bit like a freak, and it was emotionally difficult at the end of six months, because I was getting kind of controversy from the community and other actors, saying, “I would never do that!” Hey, you know, man, how many white actors have played Othello? It’s just another challenge. So that’s how I looked at it.
Elizabeth McGovern:
Ragtime (1981)—“Evelyn Nesbit”
Elizabeth McGovern: Well, that was another very early, magical experience, and that was my second job, so you can imagine that, really, I felt like I was just the luckiest actor in their 20s that you could possibly imagine. Because it was Milos Forman, who’s such a film visionary, and it was an iconic part. Evelyn Nesbit was really one of the first stars. And then we went to shoot in London, and… It was a dream of excitement and adrenaline combined with this sort of terrible feeling that I wasn’t quite ready in terms of my experience with acting. I mean, I was really winging it. I didn’t really know what I was doing. But I tried not to think about that and just carried on, so it was somewhat tempered. In some ways, at the time I was sort of mature enough to think, “I kind of wish I knew what I was doing a little bit more, but what the hell, I’m gonna go with it.” [Laughs.]
Ragtime was James Cagney’s last theatrical film. When I talked to Peter Gallagher about working with Cagney a few years later on his final TV movie [Terrible Joe Moran], he said he still very much had his wit about him.
Oh, yes, I just remember this twinkle in his eye. I didn’t have any scenes with him in the movie, but, of course, I would see him when we would have dinners on location and things, and that wit was very much present. And a warmth. He really was a lovely man.
Given what you were saying about your uncertainty at the time you worked on the film, were you shocked when you got an Oscar nod?
I was. And that was tempered by the fact that I was, like, “Oh, I’m not sure I really deserve this.” But, of course, I was thrilled. Glory always walks hand in hand with a sinking feeling of humility with me, because it’s always accompanied by something that will humble me. And that was definitely true in that case, because I thought, “Oh, God, this is glorious, but… I’m not quite there yet.”